We’re down to the last couple of cigarettes in the noxious 85% tar pack of 2025. What shall we light them with? A Brat-green Clipper from last year that we just found behind the sofa? A £50 ...

A couple of things we need to get through before we wade in with our knockoff Hunters that we got from the car boot sale from the man who has L-V-O-E tattooed on his left knuckles: THE GLORIOUS DEAD ...

2025: where every day is like Sunday. A Sunday in Hell, while old episodes of RI:SE play in the background. Today we are going for a v quick spin round the latest GBD, between Henry, a 28-year-old ...

We’re back! Let’s not make a big thing of it. This week drinking from the poisoned chalice of dating doom that is the Guardian Blind date are: Will, 33, a government officer (left, sans cheveux), and ...

Fate has thrown together in the Guardian Blind Date blender of doom Imelda, 56, a local authority officer, and Jayesh, 66, who works in medical devices. Two jobs I want to know absolutely nothing more ...

My bat signal is two queer people in their twenties sharing small plates in a restaurant with high stools selling cocktails for almost £20, so here we are with Edward (28, a press officer, hairy top ...

This week welcoming us for a new term at Bradford & Ilkley Community College are Adrian, 35, who works in advertising, and Catherine, 36, a yoga teacher. Read the full account in the Guardian and then ...

After last week’s Belfast fairy-tale, the magical month of March finds us back in London, projecting our misguided need for love and happiness in troubled times on Yukari, 29, a freelance motion ...

In these serious times, there is a feeling of guilt attached to frivolity. A sense, perhaps, that you’re playing MarioKart while Rome frazzles. Political intrigue has rendered showbiz gossip ...

St Valentine may have packed up his giant helium balloons, petrol station flowers, grotesque life-size teddy bears with matted plush, and cheap massage oil, but your favourite romantic dynamic duo – ...

Time was, I would review this Blind Date column every week, but nowadays it’s very rare for me to do two weeks in a row. Time gets away from me, my brain doesn’t work on Saturday mornings any more, I ...

This week on Extreme Tinder: Clemmie, 27, a television writer, meets Joe, 28, a civil servant. Read the full account of the date in the Guardian. Return below for the brisk skewering. A Hollywood ...